Cause and Effects of Divorce
- Length: 331 words (0.9 double-spaced pages)
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What is a marriage? According to Webster’s dictionary,” marriage is an institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family. Marriage is also an intimate or close union.” Marriages don’t always last and result in divorces. Two of the leading causes of a divorce are lack of foundation and lack of communication. Almost half of American marriages now end in divorce.
One cause of marriages ending in divorce is lack of foundation. Why should a couple get married if they have nothing in common? Marriages tend to end in divorce when a couple does not share core values, beliefs, or expectations. In a marriage sharing the same interest and passions is important. If a couple doesn’t share the same values, beliefs, or expectations and don’t have common interest or passions, just what is the foundation of their marital relationship?
Another cause of marriages ending in a divorce is the lack of communication. Many couples lack the proper communication when it comes to decision making. When a couple is able to communicate they are able to solve their problems verbally. Disagreements due to lack of communication often lead to arguments. Lack of communication may also cause financial problems, when couples to communicate about their shared finances. Failure to communicate may lead to behavior problems children involved in the relationship. Children tend to like to manipulate their parents when there are communication problems. Communication is the key within any relationship, not just marital relationships.
To avoid having a marriage end in a divorce, be sure the relationship is built upon a strong foundation.
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Effects Of Divorce Communication Problems Core Values Ending Passions Couple Disagreements Sure Finances
Don’t rush into marriage take the time to build a strong foundation. Talk about any and all problems within your relationship, keep the line of communication open. No problem is too small to talk about. Don’t be a statistic and allow your marriage to collapse due to lack of communication or lack of foundation.
Divorce rates point to a world that does not see much success in marriage. For instance, in Maldives, the divorce rate is so high that the UN calculated that the typical Maldivian woman, by the age of 30, has been divorced three times (Marriage Advice). What are the causes of these high divorce rates? There are 10 main causes we can discuss.
Extramarital affairs is the main reason for divorces (Oliver). Infidelity causes anger and resentment among those who are married, and often tears apart the emotional connection couples have. Though one event of infidelity can be tackled through counseling, multiple accounts of extramarital affairs usually result in divorce.
Another main reason why people get divorced is money. Different spending habits, opposite financial goals, and a lack of money can produce great strain on a marriage (Oliver). If the couple has children, money becomes even more vital to the sustainability of the relationship.
Though it may seem minor, a lack of communication is another key reason for divorce. If one or both partners in the marriage feel they cannot express themselves properly, or feel they are not being listened to, resentment can easily settle in (Oliver). Yelling and interrupting are common signs that a couple is not communicating well.
Some people cannot stand the amount of arguments they have with their partners. If couples are
bickering constantly, the joy of marriage cannot show through (Oliver). Arguments commonly stem from not being able to understand another person’s view, which is essential in a healthy relationship.
Unfortunately, weight gain leads to many divorces. Say if a couple started out as both skinny, and one partner became overweight, the attraction to that partner might be lost. That loss of attraction causes many to turn in divorce papers, as they cannot fathom staying in a relationship with someone they do not feel comfortable with in a romantic way (Oliver).
Another prominent cause of divorce is unreasonable expectations (Oliver). It is good for the partners in marriage to discuss each other’s expectations before signing the matrimony papers, as partners often have varying expectations of what the marriage entails, and the positions the partners will hold in it. Sometimes one partner will have lofty expectations for the marriage without his or her partner realizing it.
Though love should be the overriding reason to get married, it seems, a lack of intimacy causes many couples to get divorced. The romantic, maybe even infatuated love that married couples feel in the beginning of their marriages eventually subsides. It is natural, but how the partners deal with this decrease in sexual contact often decides how the future marriage will pan out (Oliver).
Though common sense, equality in marriages is not often achieved. Each partner should feel equal in the marriage, and not dominated. Though it is delicate balance, it can be accomplished. Those who cannot achieve this often ask for a divorce, as they feel they are being shackled by his or her marriage instead of feeling a sense of joy and happiness from the relationship (Oliver).
Alas, some people are not prepared for marriage. Many people rush to get married in a romantic frenzy without taking in the consequences of such an action (Oliver). They could be unprepared in terms of financial stability, emotional stability, and mental stability. Surprisingly, the age group with the highest rate of divorce are people in their 20s (Oliver). So, when getting married, be sure that you feel that everything is set for the occasion.
A sad fact about marriages is that with emotional, physical, and mental strain, abuse can follow. This abuse does not have to refer to only physical abuse, but also emotional and psychological abuse (Oliver). Abuse can come from both men and women, and should not be thought of only as an attack against women, however women are subject to most of the physical abuse that occurs.
As you can see, the cause of divorce is multifaceted. Though one issue might put enough pressure on a marriage for the couple to go for a divorce, commonly a combination of problems arise that lend to the couple pondering the end of their relationship. Through infidelity, money issues, a lack of communication, constant arguing, weight gain, unrealistic expectations, a lack of intimacy, a lack of equality, a lack of preparedness, and abuse, marriages are broken. It is important for couples, therefore, to get counseling when any of these issues arise.
Oliver Smith (2017). Mapped: The countries with the highest divorce rate. [online] The Telegraph. Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/mapped-countries-with-highest-divorce-rate/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
Marriage Advice – Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples. (2017). 10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Marriage.Com. [online] Available at: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
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